Helping Your Child Thrive During the Move to Secondary School
The transition from primary to secondary school is a major milestone in a child’s life. While it can be exciting, it often brings emotional challenges that can affect a child’s confidence, mood, and overall wellbeing. As a parent, understanding what your child is going through—and how to support them—can make a meaningful difference.
Recent research by Shum and colleagues (2025) highlights how key social-emotional competencies—such as emotion regulation, perceived social support, and self-esteem—play a vital role in shaping a child’s psychological wellbeing during this transition. The study followed 233 children aged 11–13 across three time points: before, during, and after their move to secondary school. It found that while boys tended to show improvements in self-esteem and reduced emotional suppression, girls experienced a decline in psychological wellbeing across the transition[1].
This gender difference is important for parents to consider. Girls may need more emotional support and reassurance during this time, especially as they navigate new social environments and academic pressures. The study also found that children with higher levels of perceived social support—from family, friends, and teachers—were more likely to maintain positive wellbeing. This means that simply being available to listen, encourage, and validate your child’s feelings can have a protective effect.
One of the most effective emotional skills children can learn is cognitive reappraisal—the ability to change how they think about a situation in order to feel better about it. For example, instead of thinking, “I’ll never make friends at my new school,” a child might reframe the thought as, “It might take time, but I’ll find people who like the same things I do.” Cognitive reappraisal has been shown to support psychological wellbeing, while emotional suppression (hiding or ignoring feelings) is linked to poorer outcomes (Hu et al., 2014; Sheppes et al., 2011)[1].
Self-esteem also plays a crucial role. Children who feel good about themselves—who believe they are capable, valued, and worthy—are better equipped to handle the ups and downs of school life. However, the transition to secondary school can challenge self-esteem, especially as children compare themselves to new peers and face increased academic demands (Coelho & Romao, 2017; Białecka-Pikul et al., 2019)[1].
With this in mind, what can parents do? First, establish predictable routines at home to give your child a sense of stability. This might include regular bedtimes, morning check-ins, and consistent homework habits. Second, encourage open conversations about their feelings. Ask questions like, “What was something that made you feel proud today?” or “Was there anything that felt tricky?” Third, help your child build emotional regulation skills by teaching calming strategies like deep breathing, journaling, or using a “feelings thermometer” to name and manage emotions.
Finally, remember that transitions are not just academic—they’re emotional and social too. By nurturing your child’s emotional skills, boosting their self-esteem, and offering steady support, you’re helping them build resilience that will serve them well beyond the classroom.
References:
Shum, C., Dockray, S., Gallagher, S., & McMahon, J. (2025). Social–emotional competencies and psychological well‐being across secondary school transition. British Journal of Developmental Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1111/bjdp.12564[1]
Hu, T., Zhang, D., Wang, J. (2014). A meta-analysis of the emotion regulation strategy of cognitive reappraisal. Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 66(1), 1–9.
Sheppes, G., Scheibe, S., Suri, G., & Gross, J. J. (2011). Emotion regulation choice: A conceptual framework and supporting evidence. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 140(4), 620–635.
Coelho, V. A., & Romão, A. M. (2017). Self-concept and self-esteem in adolescents: A longitudinal study. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 46(4), 1–15.
Białecka-Pikul, M., et al. (2019). Self-esteem development during school transition. European Journal of Developmental Psychology, 16(2), 1–18.
References